Grown Up Dreams

I may be over eighteen, but to be honest, my dreams have not changed much from when I was young.  When I was little, riding in the van with mom and Janel, we'd drive by old run-down homes.  I would say "I'm going to fix up that house and fill it with orphans."  It was not until last year that I realized (after all these years) that I had a love for historical architecture, in addition to a heart for orphans (which I've known about for years.)
I would love to have a home where I can house parent-less children and love them, be there for them, and help them grow.  My passion and desire for them is stronger than the desire to have a child of my own.  I would like to go on a short term missions trip to work with orphans, but at the same time I don't.  Here is why:  I don't want to be just one more person floating through an orphan's life.  I don't want to attach myself to a little child, who melts my heart and then have to leave.  "You have to stay here, while I go home to my parents." kind of thing.  Yes, volunteering on a missions trip is important, but I believe orphans are insecure to begin with and they just want someone to love them.  They are probably used to people/workers coming and going, so they most likely try to stop letting themselves become attached to people, because they are of the mindset that in a few days, you will walk out of their life, like all the other people before you.  I don't want to be that kind of person that walks into their life, and then walks out because 'my time is up'.  No, I dream of having a home where they can live with me and I can be a 'parent' to them as they wait for a loving family to adopt them.  I want to give them love and security while they wait for that lovely family that will be forever theirs.

'My' old house, I've loved it every since I can remember.

I still long to restore an old home.  I would love to research what kind of furnishings, floor coverings, and wall painting/papering would be authentic to the original building of the house.  I hope I get to restore at least one old home to it's former glory, before I die.

I would love to live in a federal style house, like president Lincoln's home in Springfield IL!

Another one of my dreams that has stuck with me for a handfull of years, is to support the military who protect our country.  Yes, I can write letters, send care boxes and collect cell phones for them, but that's not what my dream is.  I'd rather be there to comfort them in the hospitals and on the field, help them write letters home and speak words of encouragement to them.  Not in a romantic way, but a motherly way. I saw the picture below in a local newspaper a few months back and something inside of me said "I want to do that. I want to comfort them."

"The only thing I could do at that moment was hug the guy. . . "
Sgt. Maj. Bryan Pacholiski said.

I have looked for a picture taken from the movie Pearl Harbor of the scene that captivates me; when Rafe and Danny are holding hands with the soldiers trapped in the ship, but it seems no one has taken a still shot of that scene.  When I saw that, again, something inside me said "I want to do that too."

I don't know if it's in the Lord's plan for me to physically be there to comfort soldiers, or when they just need a hug or someone to hold their hand.  So for the time being, I will continue to pray for them and write letters.

One night after telling my desires/dreams to mom and dad, mom suggested I look up what my spiritual gift(s) are.  They turned out to be mercy and compassion.  

Verse of the week:  Isaiah 26:3-4

"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD, the LORD is the Rock eternal."

Last weeks verse:  Isaiah 46:4

"Even to your old age and gray hairs, I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you."

I have chosen these verses for this week because a friend and I fly out on Tuesday to visit my sister and her family in Panama for seven days.  Flying is not my cup of tea, even though ginger root does work wonders (praise the Lord for that!).