The Runway

I asked my good friend to do a guest blog post for me, because I love the way she compares being single to waiting for an airplane to take off.
So, if being single is a bit of a struggle for you at times, then get a cup of coffee or tea (please pass the honey, cinnamon and cream) and enjoy!

~ Words of caution ~

To you girls; I'm longwinded. Period. But I just couldn't seem to emphasize my main point strongly enough without making them all!

To you guys; ...don't even bother. On second thought, some of this might be informative and/or apply to you too, but don't say I didn't warn you! - Proceed at your own risk.

~ Fact #1: You're not the only one. ~

Statistically, girls struggle with the idea of marriage as being the ultimate/best thing (outside of salvation) that can happen in life and without it, you just haven't arrived.

Well... let me dispel the first half of this rumor *drumroll please* --- "It's NOT a rumor!" 

For those who rely on God for the "who" "when" & "how", it IS the best thing ...in life. 

But what about after? 'cause we all know eternity's a lot longer and better than our visit to this planet.

~ "Waiting for marriage..." ~

"Waiting" for marriage is among the most tiresome, irksome tasks I can think of. As girls, we can't make it happen (can't? I meant shouldn't) and discontentment & impatience only breed more discontentment, impatience, and all-around-unpreparedness for marriage! 

After all, who wants to marry someone essentially escaping from prison? Inmates generally act for selfish interests, and convicts carry their pasts with them like a ball-and-chain waiting to drag them down, or make them snap. [Oh boy! Just what every guy wants to attach himself to!] - It doesn't take a psychologist to recognize the plethora of potential marriage difficulties in this scenario! ;)

So...... what? If we don't "wait for marriage", do we simply write it off? --- Duh, no!

Why I bother mentioning this aspect at all? A friend once prepared to take a life-long vow of single service. (aka, this isn't so far-fetched after all!) By God's grace, her closest friends vehemently cautioned her to seek counsel from her dad before doing so, and simultaneously brought to light the motivation of her pending decision; fear. It was obvious to those of us on the outside that she was afraid no one would ever choose her, so to save herself the pain of being passed by, she would cushion her heart with an excuse. 

Thankfully, the Lord used her dad to awaken her heart to the fact that she wasn't trusting God with her future.

~ Moving on! Literally. ~

My point isn't that we shouldn't wait. --- Waiting for the best, IS the best! (oh... did I fail to mention how; many impatient girls "settle" when marrying, and then later on are impatient again to "settle"? ...for divorce.) --- Life's a journey, and it's kind of like a flight. Planes don't travel at the speed of light, so we might as well enjoy the ride. Every.last.inch.

Assuming heaven is our destination, the moment we get on the plane, as it were, our trip (life) has begun! And any frequent flier can tell you that delays happen. If you experience a delay, you're not being singled out by the airline (viz. there's nothing wrong with being on the verge of 30 and never having had a match in sight!). Instead of focusing on the delay, begin your vacation! NOW!

~ Attitude ~

Compare: Pleasant passengers who settle into their seat, turn on music, read a book, make a new friend, witness to a traveler, or watch the cute little kid across the aisle vs. those who count the seconds and curse the air-traffic controllers...

The latter don't  arrive ANY FASTER; just arrive more disheveled and disgruntled. It also makes them less likely to be engaged by other passengers (no pun intended... but I'll take it anyway!), because everyone around them senses they're a ticking time-bomb waiting to blow. *grumpy alert!* beep beeeeeeep

~ Dropping out of the blue... literally ~

If we take the view that life could be over with our next breath, I think we'd start living sooner and pouring ourselves into our present more enthusiastically; diving head-first into the work  God has at hand for us right now.

The plane could fall out of the sky in an instant :: *poof*:: and all that worrying Crabby did over her watch would go to waste.

Similarly, take-off could come the moment you least expect it. －  Don't we all enjoy pleasant surprises?

~ Taxiing ~ 

Take it from a continent hopper; there ARE worse things that sitting at your gate!

      That is... some girls make the argument "At least you've had somebody interested in you!" - Yes, well... what if a girl has seven "smittens" like a cat has nine lives? (yes, I did just make up a word. deal with it. ;) My point is that being liked once is no guarantee of being liked again, just as not having been liked before has about as much predictive power as your local meteorologist! 

Worse yet, if you like them back, or experience an [Oo! could this person be the one?] overthinking-it situation, well... it's almost like you're taxiing. I know, I know... sitting at the gate is no one's favorite pastime; but taxiing on the runway, on the other hand??? It stinks. Your passengers (emotions) start expecting take-off. 

Taxiing endlessly is exasperating. You feel like the aircraft is crawling, and getting called back to your gate is a dashed-hope scenario if ever there was one! 

~ Expectation ~
I'll be the first to admit, no matter how many times I board, I do wait for take-off. But not because I'm antsy 'til I'm "officially off"! Rather, I LOVE take-off. It has such a thrilling-yet-calming rush to it! Marriage is supposed to be marvelous! 

The way I look at it, if you're called back to the gate, it just might be evidence that you jumped the gun. The traffic controllers weren't ready for you yet, and you decided to take your craft for a test run anyway! Brilliant. Now the passengers are grumbling that you didn't follow through; that is, you've let go of a piece of your heart, or had to fight to keep it every inch of the way, or had to learn a lesson... the hard way.

~ Take it from the opposisters ~

By the time my elder sister was "getting older" (younger than my present age! thank you very much :P) and had never had a whiff of a possibility come her way, she was discouraged. - ["How is it my little sister has had guys approach dad about seriously pursuing her and I haven't? Is there something wrong with me? Do I give off a "sTaY aWAy" -vibe?"] - Mom wisely counseled ["I have no idea what God's preparing your sister for, but you're both learning lessons! Just very different ones. You're learning trust through patience, and she's learning trust through leaving things in God's hand."] 

She eventually conceded that maybe being at the gate wasn't so bad, but only after months of watching me agonize over the awful reality of "taxiing" (or pseudo taxiing, in my case). Take it from her (a mere observer) it's NOT all it's cracked up to be. Sure, it was flattering! Maybe encouraging as well [ex. at least I was reassured that I was desirable] but my goodness! What a stretching experience. The one thing I am most grateful for is to not yet have ever been IN a relationship. For that, I am deeply, extremely, utterly grateful. I asked God to guard my heart, and He DID. - miraculous. - Yes, yes. I cannot deny that the Lord knew what He was doing when He brought it all my way. I clung to Him; sought Him; Needed&wanted Him. － I also found an enormously deep wealth of wisdom, patience and understanding in my earthly father. － WHAT A BLESSING!

That said. Would I want it all over again? 

No. - To go through months of saying "No. ⋯⋯ no. ⋯⋯ Not unless God ever leads that way. ⋯⋯ IF the Lord were ever to bring us together ⋯⋯ I could only desire a relationship if I KNEW that was the Lord's will..." ；keeping a young man at an arms length； keeping my distance, but wishing for more time to converse ； wishing idle prattle wouldn't lead to people pairing us up when we were most definitely NOT in a relationship. ； Having to overthink my actions, and every interaction.......... － It's sooooo for the birds!  bleh.   

I know patience is trying, but  I believe it is harder still to keep an open hand over something that's right in your palm. Of course it's hard not having a potential husband in sight, but if an admirer isn't the right one, then what's the difference? No thank you. Do not wish it!

~ Love ~

Back to my sister... 

Mom also maintained that she felt the first man who came along for my sister would be the right one (unlike my scenario), and voila! Guess who's married and living in "<333 Bliss Lane, Sohapy OH, G.A.G.M.E."... er, I meant "42463" *cough* ;) Their story is wonderful, I love watching them, but I know that's not what the Lord has for me... maybe never, maybe someday, maybe next year I'll laugh at this. ;)

~ Life ~ 

Just because I don't have that "best thing" (which my sister is always putting a shout-out for) the one thing I have learned from the way God has dealt with me vs. my lovely sis is that I have become content. Very content. Happy content!

I know that the Lord's timing and choice is BEST! ...if I wasn't going to wait for Him, then I would have gotten myself into hot water, a heart-burn, or a bad marriage a long time ago. I'm in no rush! I've got all the time in the world. Not saying I'm going to be a "do you measure up to my law-of-husband-ry" snit; but, rather, I'm loving following the Lord, serving Him wherever He takes me, and trusting that if and when it's ever His will... we'll both be there when the time comes! － What a relief! What a burden off the shoulders! － It's freed me up to throw myself into ANYTHING! It's made me more flexible in God's hands... I don't feel like I have to hang around one place, or fly off to another, in case xyz should happen! 

Stop waiting for take-off. You ARE off! Your journey has begun! The only thing you know for certain is that you WILL reach your destination one day, but in the meantime, who knows what will fill your trip! The only way to find out is to trust your pilot... cause worrying won't get you anywhere. 

Instead of chanting the despairing mantra "Any time now, God...", try exchanging it for the question "In the meantime, God...?" and trust your all to Him Who does all things well!

♪ If I give up － The "best" of this life

For the sake of － Eternity's prize, 

There is no real cost; 

For the gains that － Are not yet ac-qui-red 

Will pile up － And pass through the fire 

And please Him. 

So then, what do we live for but jewels so sweet?

Revealed, our reward, we will cast at His feet; 

So deserved. ♬